Things to talk to and hit.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
A Practical Guide
How To Make Muffins in 18 Easy Steps
by Jarrett, Jackson, & Beans the Bird Dog
- Jarrett & Jackson wake up before Denise. Decide it would be nice to make her some muffins for breakfast.
- Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
- Attempt to open package of muffin mix with one hand while holding Jackson in the other.
- Spill half a package of muffin mix on the ground.
- Beans devours half a package of muffin mix.
- Put Jackson in swing. Pop a pacifier in his mouth to stop the crying.
- Estimate that approximately half the muffin mix remains. Decide to cut the rest of the recipe in half and proceed.
- Jackson's pacifier falls on the ground. Boil it for sterilization. Put it back in.
- Due to sleep deprivation, incorrectly calculate one-half of two-thirds cups of milk. Add two whole cups of milk to muffin mix.
- Jackson's pacifier falls on the ground. Rinse it off. Put it back in.
- Spoon milky muffin mix-soup into six muffin cups.
- Jackson's pacifier falls on the ground. Blow it off. Put it back in.
- Put muffin soup in preheated oven for 14 minutes. Due to sleep deprivation, set the timer for 41 minutes.
- Jackson's pacifier falls on the ground. Let Beans lick it off. Make a solemn pact with Beans to never discuss this with anyone.
- Jackson falls asleep. Beans falls asleep. Jarrett falls asleep.
- Awake 41 minutes later to the sound of a baby crying and the smell of smoke. Oven timer is going off. Beans wants to go outside. Denise is yelling something about a fire extinguisher.
- Feed Jackson. Extinguish kitchen fire. Feed burnt muffins to Beans. Tell Denise the oven must be faulty. Drive to the bakery. Buy muffins. Drive home. Reflect on the joys of fatherhood.
- Enjoy!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Getting Bigger
Jackson has grown so much since he was born! I can't believe it!
2 Days Old
22 Days Old
Friday, September 18, 2009
Doctor Day
Today was Jackson's 10-day checkup. It turns out that when you eat 27 times a day, you gain weight. Jackie gained 11 ounces and 3/4 of an inch in a week.
The doc says that's good, and babies are supposed to be chubby. We're doing our best to that effect.
Everything else looks good, and we don't go back to the doc until he's two months old. Today, they had to stick him in the foot for some genetics screening. I took him aside for a second and we talked it over, man to man. I explained that it might hurt, but it was for his own benefit. Jack expressed his apprehension, but he agreed that it was a necessary test, and he promised to do his best to keep a stiff upper lip.
He took it like a champ. The nurse was impressed. That's my boy.
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